I’m very serious here. And RuPaul and World of Wonder boys, please throw the voting in this girl’s favor. It’ll be our secret…

VOTE HERE

It’s tonight, on an appropriately insane and hot night in New York City. Raise a glass, look to the Heavens and you just might see Big, Bald, Nasty, Rude Diva blowing Air Kisses to the Masses from on high. Let us revel in all things Dean tonight! Tonight, Dean is my sorely missed ingenious pain-in-the-ass friend — he did a lot for me, this city and this world. Tonight, I — we all — must love my dear departed freakshow. Tonight we have Drink Tickets in Valhalla!!

Beth Johnson and pals have been hard at work putting together the upcoming memorial for Dean….. click below for details:

ROCK & ROLL FAG BAR 2008

I feel like I’ve actually done something!!

You can watch Lucy, Daughter of the Devil and other great shows at adultswim.com, even if your DirectTV has been shut off!

After nearly two months of dickering, Sungard HE finally released my final paycheck.  Of course, two-thirds of it was devoured immediately by red ink (i.e. the overdraft built up by excessive bank fees).  But at least I have a tiny pittance to keep me supplied with cigarettes and Mac n’ Cheese for a few days… which ought to make the impending eviction and trip to debtor’s prison slightly more palatable…..

Someone PLEASE give me a GODDAMN JOB…..

I am entering the phase in which the bite of unemployment becomes sharp and deep. Funding for the next meal and pack of cigarettes — much less, the rent — is an open and troubling question, for instance. I am certain that the devils at Sungard Higher Education owe me a final paycheck, one that is sorely overdue. It appears that I won’t receive it without a fight, a daunting proposition when one is under the heavy thumb of depression. I can barely leave the house, so the prospect of girding for battle with anally litigious, corporate dickheads is one I face with slow-moving anxiety.

As in most major life crises, a Simpsons quote succinctly encapsulates my plea: “WILL DROP PANTS FOR FOOD!”

Send info regarding job offers and your checks and money orders to chris -at- mondojohnson.com

David Lynch is right — it’s so beautiful, the world. Especially on those rare and pure moments when you stumble across a skilled new artist — the instant that it’s just you and the artwork communicating, unsullied by the women who come and go, speaking of Michaelangelo…..

Anyway, the artist du jour is Juan Francisco Casas, who does finely detailed, photorealistic drawings in Bic ballpoint pens. Hat tip to Neatorama, which again lives up to its moniker.

[Related Post:  from August 2006 -- Don Marco, the Crayon Master.]

Yes, I got the heave-ho from Sungard Higher Education and New York Law School. Not a huge surprise; those guys never liked me. The actual, factual details are far too dull to go into, so I’ve decided to paste some of the email I just sent my sister on the subject.

Hi Phyllis,

I’ve been avoiding telling anyone for the last day and a half, but at
the end of work on Wednesday I was unceremoniously given the axe from
NYLS. They had a meticulously scripted, bureaucratic rationale for
doing so ….

But they just plain *didn’t like me*, as has been evident for quite
some time. I knew this day was coming since the infamous “poison pen”
letter to the Dean from Professor Dickhead (’round about the time you
guys were visiting). Never mind that all complaints have been
retracted and that the Spring 2008 term of the online school went off
without a single incident — the caricature of me as an inept saboteur
got fixed a long time ago. It deflected attention from anyone else’s
shortcomings — a useful social function, perhaps… like the drummer
in any band, or the “dumb” friend in a clique. One member of the
tribe has to be the weakling; the repository for excess hostilities
that would otherwise rip the pack apart.

As you observed, it was ripping ME apart, badly. Honestly, I spent all
of 40 minutes being seriously pissed off about it. The last couple of
days have been some of most peaceful and optimistic moments I have
passed in a LOOOOOONNNNNGGGG time. Yes, money will be a bit tight (no
severance, incidentally, after nearly 6 years), but I am so relieved
to have the friggin’ tumor removed!

I’ve been hesitant to call Mom about this, though of course I will. I
haven’t talked to Dad in centuries, out of shameful fear of his wrath
that I couldn’t find my original photoshop files for the first “Harry”
book. Well, now I have time to make him some new ones! So that’ll
be a good ice breaker, I suppose.

Sorry for the wordy email… this is the first time I’ve vented a bit
about it. But the vent is not a rant… I’m really happy to be free!

Give me a ring over the weekend, I’ll be around!!

love,
Chris

Motherfuckers. It finally happened… More to come….