mondojohnson

Decent people everywhere have always loved Roger Ebert, long before he became the Oprah-sanctioned warrior against everything random and awful about life. The man is bloody brilliant, and funny as hell. I mean — he wrote Beyond the Valley of the Dolls, for God’s sake. His reviews are always penetrating and smart — he is a true champion of film and literature.

But enough of the prelude. Here’s proof of the man’s genius, in his current review of Hot Tub Time Machine:

I mean, how good can a movie named “Hot Tub Time Machine” possibly be? Yes? That’s not what I thought. I saw the stand-up display in a movie lobby and perked up. With a title like that, the filmmakers aren’t lacking in confidence. There was also the item of John Cusack in the lead. As a general rule, he isn’t found in bad films.

“He isn’t found in bad films.” Man, he’s got that right.

I hope science finds a way for Roger to taste root beer again. (If you don’t get that reference, watch the Oprah interview. Then call me in about two years when you’re done crying.)

Three clever lads produced this slick little film that follows the scrolling text from Star Wars after it disappears from view. Enjoy!

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Legion is the second quasi-religious action flick I’ve seen this week (the first being the far superior Book of Eli). It’s a bit of a clumsy mess, built of shopworn tropes, bad performances and an incoherent theology.

The film opens with archangel Michael (Paul Bettany) falling to the streets of L.A., where he surgically removes his wings and begins assembling a huge arsenal for some upcoming apocalyptic battle.

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In horrified recognition of the Supreme Court’s ruling that corporations are entitled to the same free speech as individuals, I direct you to the excellent film The Corporation (by Mark Achbar, Jennifer Abbott and Joel Bakan).

The film takes the bogus “corporations-have-the-same-rights-as-individuals” argument and dissects it like a frog in bio lab. The most depressingly humorous sequence in the movie takes this argument to its logical conclusion — if the corporation is the same as an individual, then it is subject to psychiatric diagnosis. By the standards of the DSM-IV, the corporation is conclusively shown to be suffering from psychosis.

To paraphrase Barney Frank — speaking in a different context — corporations are not created by God, they are created by greedy men. Thus they should be subject to human regulation, and not entitled to the “inalienable rights” due to those of us who didn’t ask to be born.

*Sigh*. We are entering yet another dark era. Enjoy the film, and get pissed.

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